DRAMA, GOSSIP & BULL$H#T: WHY WE DO IT

DRAMA, GOSSIP, & BULLSHIT



We live in a society, and at a time where on the edge of everyone's lips is the latest gossip or news. We have been bombarded by the media with judgemental portrayals from an outsider's perspective on people's situations, and circumstances (often of which has been glamorized or spun.) Creating a sensationalized view on gossip.

What is the need for everybody to be in everybody else's business? I've really thought about this as it seems to be normal in this day and age, I believe some reasons may be;

1. To feel that verification that our lives aren't as crazy as we think, and that other people have their lives falling apart over there, so good. I'm not alone... I'm not the only one whose life is a mess...

2. Because the way we are forced to live in society constantly working, schooling, training etc. Many of us are living purposeless lives, working in a field where we lack passion while gaining profits for another man's buck, getting very little in return. Grasping at moments of joy, laughter, drama, often just because we are bored. Many are forced to suppress their passions because they are left with no time to pursue them. If you notice those people who are often highly concentrated in their field of happiness (doing what they love as work) usually do not focus on the pettiness in life. They do not seem to have the need to seek fulfillment in moments of superficial means of exhilaration.

However, when we gossip and pass back and forth confidential information with the words...

"Don't say I said this, but..." when we confide in another with such secretive knowledge it strengthens the bonds between friends, showing that you trust them enough to share what you have heard...It also makes the other person feel more inclined to share the secret wisdom they have also been concealing.

Gossip does have a positive function in establishing the values of a group. It shows the boundaries, using shame to persuade new arrivals to follow the rules if they want to fit in. The anthropologist Robin Dunbar has suggested that gossip is a vital evolutionary factor in the development of our brains; language came about because of the need to spread gossip and not the other way around. Gossip allows us to talk about people who aren’t present; it also allows us to teach others how to relate to individuals they have never seen before.

However, there are other aspects to gossiping. ‘We gossip to share our worries, seeking reassurance and support,’ says psychiatrist Frédéric Fanget. ‘It’s an indirect way of speaking well of yourself, and your listeners. It’s also fun to arouse others’ with curiosity and to monopolize the conversation when you have information to reveal.

The toxicity of gossip often comes hand in hand with our next topic... Drama.

Why do people engage in such drama, and a duel of such personal attacks whether they be emotional, or physical?


This comes down to our EGO, the ego is a fictionalized and conditioned assignment of who we are. The make-up of our race, class, religion, sexuality, decisions, family, friends of which are all external givings, and have been assigned to us with very little choice of our own, often leaving us confused with the belief that this is what makes who we are.

To be clear. You are a spirit, you are a soul, you are the flowing force of creative energy that wittingly provides your presence. You are not your talent, you are the flow of that talent.  When a person realizes that our EGO is not what makes us who we are, we no longer personalize with our egoistic make-up and realize it is merely but a train of thought, grasping for understanding and belonging.

That is why you hear people say that they were soul-searching. There is a deep knowing connecting you to the world, a truth that lies within your being. Many often get a hunger, a deep craving, feeling lost searching within for the answers.

Why is this related you wonder? Because this is why people personalize a remark, or confrontation when a personal attack is engaged. If you realized that it is not actually you who they are attacking, but who they think you are...

Then you have to wonder why people do what they do. In order to gain an understanding of a person's view, outlook, or opinion you have to look at the situation from their perspective as well. You would probably react in the same way if you were them. Know that it is the way their opinion and beliefs have been structured and like you, they have also been conditioned to react in such a way. The only reason they respond in the way that they do is because of the afflictions of their mind. Like a lost sheep, getting angry that they've stepped on a thorn, with no knowledge or interest in finding their shepherd or path towards forwarding progression.

We also have to question our own reactions. I often say that "anger only arises when we strike a cord of truth" when something or somebody angers me, I follow my own train of thought and question why my emotions react in such a way. It must have hit a cord within me, but is it truth? If somebody calls you "lazy, financially irresponsible, etc." maybe sometimes we have to take a deeper look in the mirror, and instead of being offended and defending our ways, ask if it may hold some truth or validity...

Everybody is just trying to do the best that they can given their upbringings and circumstances. When we feel that we are under attack it is only natural to defend. But just realize for a second, that the moment you lower your vibration to their level, they have already won. The moment you give your energy over to a responsive dual with another, you have just given them your power. The power lies in letting it get to you. You must LET. If it genuinely doesn't bother you, you could care less what they said about you, what they've done, or what they are doing. Your happiness and contentment within your world come from choosing to keep the negativity out, and the peace in. That includes keeping anybody else's drama, gossip, trauma or pain out of your life! It lowers your frequency!

While I have been writing and researching this topic, I came across an extremely interesting article written by the "TinyBuddha" about 7 crucial steps in order to minimize drama in your life...

Here is a brief summarization of these 7 steps, I feel would be beneficial for any of us to follow, and practice on a daily basis...


1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.

You get what you put out. If you act in a way that is positive and minimal drama, you attract the same kind of positive situations and people. ~April Myers
Drama usually comes from my reaction to other people’s actions. I stop to think: Does this really matter in the long run, or am I just trying to be right? ~Anita Grimm-Hohl

2. Change your perspective.

Be happy about little things, let the big stuff go because I can’t change any of it. ~Grace Foo
I zoom out in my mind to a point far enough away and above so that I can see things in my life for what they are. By doing this, I can see from a distance how small and unimportant the situation is in the big scope of the universe. ~Larry Stilts

3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama.

Build a reputation for not participating in drama. ~Addy Rodriguez
Just be. Anything you resist persists. Don’t add any negative or positive focus on it. ~Nikki Star
Speak less, listen more. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. ~Alexis Benjamin‎
Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction. ~Angelina PhouGui Chan-Ong

4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

Minimize dramatic people in your life. ~Jeff Palmer
Befriend only people with good energy that don’t promote or create drama. ~Carmen Portela

5. Be clear and straight with other people.

Be as open and honest and communicative as possible. Listen without reacting. ~Faith McGregor
If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama! ~Kristie Sherman
Drama comes about because of either misunderstanding or overreaction. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others. ~Vito Ruiz

6. Be slow to label something as “drama.”
When it comes to people you know you love, always take an extra moment to reconsider, if the “problem” is actually a problem, if it’s worth making a big deal out of it. ~Christian Andersen Hauge
I realize that life is a roller-coaster and my problems are much like others’ at different times. ~Margaret I. Gibson

7. Learn from drama.
I attempt to allow the inevitable episode, extract any potential meaning or lesson, and equally allow it to pass. ~Joel Olmstead
I try to see the learning experience in the drama. And I think of the sentence “Without rain you can’t enjoy the sunny days.” ~Anja Feijen
Accept it, learn from it, and go on with life. ~Vincent Neerings

This article coming to a close, I hope that this post may grant you perspective and peace within the chaos and drama of your own life... leaving you in a responsible tranquil state of living...

Until next time
Namaste
#StayWoke

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-crucial-steps-to-minimize-drama-in-your-life/

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